Game 12: H-W Demons 14, Uncle Bob's 1

There was pretty much no way we were going out like suckas. The men in blue decided not to postpone the inevitable last night at Wavering Park. They decided to award us our first-ever championship trophy before the game even started.

Instead of resting on our laurels, we decided to lay the smack down on Uncle Bob's candy asses. Even though we were clowning around in the field, using a different pitcher every inning, the Uncle Bob's boys - who played us so close in Week 1 - had no answer for the Demons.

Welcome to the rest of Division V's dilemma, boys. No one had the answer on how to slow down the ink-stained heroes of the diamond.

As has been the case for most of the season, the Demons dominated from start to finish. The Demons hit up and down the lineup as Uncle Bob's hurler had trouble finding the zone. It was, as the cliche goes, a total team effort at the plate.

The only way Uncle Bob's could stop DOB was when he made like it was 2005 and hit from the left side and fouled out for the first time this season. DOB was 1 for 2 with a run scored, finishing the season with a .500 batting average (15 for 30) with seven runs scored and 10 RBI.

DOB's highlight was taking the mound for the first time in his slow-pitch softball career and promptly striking out the first batter he faced. DOB did allow an unearned run (thanks Marky Mark), but got out of the inning without much damage. Since DOB was on the mound when the Demons reached the 10-run slaughter rule, it figures that he was the winning pitcher with Grape Ape earning a save.

DOB is now 1-0 lifetime pitching with a 0.00 ERA. He walked one and struck out one. Opponents are hitting .286 against him lifetime (2 for 7). What an inspiring performance.

DOB was Jose Oquendo-like in the field, too. Like the Cardinals' "Secret Weapon" of old, DOB was able to play anywhere on the diamond. In addition to his once-again stellar work behind the plate, he went out and played rover in the outfield and easily handled his only chance. (He forgot to throw his hat off though.)

Really, everyone showed up to hit. Eric B. was steady at the top of the order. Jazzy Jeff did his thing. Kriss Kross had a couple of nicely placed hits to right field. Slump-bustin' Shawny broke out with a couple of seeds.
Hitman Hart was solid as were the Weamster and Nick the Quick. Big John Studd, who shunned the postgame paparazzi, had a couple of nice hits. Marky Mark, Rob Base and Grape Ape also had at least one hit each as we flexed our considerable muscle.

Other than Marky Mark letting down DOB, we were salty in the field, too. It's worth nothing that Rob Base played a flawless right field (who cares no balls were hit out there.)

Here's the rest of the celebration in pictures. I'll log on next week to do the season-ending awards.

One thing about the pictures. Grape Ape wore Chuck Taylors in memory of the departed Ed, but my camera didn't work.

RIP, Ed, you're missed.

Until next week's awards.