Thursday, June 21, 2007

Game 6: WHO NEEDS DOB?

The Demons overcame swirling winds, a dusty Wavering Park Field and a determined Merry Beavers team by posting a 20-10 mercy-rule victory in six innings Thursday night. Now 6-0, there is talk this may be the greatest Demons team of all time.

DOB was not present for this game, preferring instead to hang out with fellow sports writers in St. Louis, which also proves he needs therapy and isn't getting it by playing softball, but that's another matter. There were several DOB references during the game, and Rob The Bob is considering a new identity after being called DOB, but more on that later.

The game did not start well for the H-W crew. Ahead 4-1 in the second, the Demons stunk it up in the field and allowed the Beavers to score 7 runs. Three errors on the left side of the infield left the team members muttering, but thanks to great encouragement from the Weamster: "Come on defense, let's get some hits ...." well, we were OK.

Our big inning was in the fourth, when the Beavers pitcher was distracted by sudden gusts of wind which made it hard to see the plate. He made like Rick Ankiel and walked home three H-W runs, and Nick The Quick, who had three hits, delivered a clutch single during the inning. Maybe. Hit Man Hart was coaching first and couldn't see the plate because of the dust. Hit Man does not have a very good memory. Hit Man loves this Internet posting gig because he refers to himself in the third person. Hit Man is loving life.

Hit Man thinks DOB is to the Demons what Jimmy Hart was to The Honky Tonk man during the glory days of the Intercontinental Title, back when it actually meant something in the WWF. But the Hit Man digresses.

Eric the Roadrunner struck out swinging to start the game, but made up for it later with a couple of clutch hits. Hit Man had a chance to end the game in the fifth, but lined a shot to second and the score stayed 19-10, so we played another inning.

Gotta give some love to Shawnie, the Willie Mays of Division V softball, who made three outstanding catches in the swirling breeze. Finally, in the bottom of the sixth and needing one run to end the game on a 10-run mercy rule, Nick The Quick stepped up and smashed one between the third baseman's legs. Weamster was on second and was waived home by Hit Man coaching third, and Weamster literally dove headfirst into home plate for the winning run. The poor college kids who work for the park district will probably still be shoveling dirt Friday afternoon to find home plate.

"I was gonna dive and score for the team," Weamster said.

Uh, Keith? Two words. DIVISION FIVE. But thanks anyway and good hustle.

We will give our Wuss Of The Game award to Rob The Bob, who meekly popped up several times and should have been called out on strikes in the fifth inning. In fact, Grapes of Wrath chastised the umpire FOR NOT RINGING UP HIS OWN TEAMMATE, which again shows you the joy of playing Division V softball. Rob didn't like being called DOB. Rob will bring beer for the rest of the season, as will Eric for striking out to start the game.

Also kudos to Jazzy Jeff The Payson Flash, who added three hits and is easily the best new player the Whig has picked up in many moons. (Hit Man isn't sure if Jazzy Jeff is from Payson, but he likes the nickname so he's sticking with it.)

We take on Uncle Bob's at Moorman Main at 8 p.m. next Thursday as we start the second round of league play. The Demons highest finish, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, was second in 1999, so we'll party like 1999 if we can sweep through the rest of the season.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

One thing that the Hitman failed to mention is the intense search for his glove at the end of the night. After having searched the dugout and picnic area in vain, he began to methodically drag patrons trying to leave the ballpark from their vehicles and search them. One patron was heard commenting later, "That search was more thorough then my last prostate exam!" On a positive, he did find a set of keys, $0.32, 1984 Unity class ring and a pack of Lucky's after dawning his rubber glove. Luckily he did find his mit (hanging on the fence). We'll wait for the lawsuits over the illegal searchs to begin pouring in soon.
This has been Nick the Quick reporting from Wavering Park.

June 22, 2007 7:39 AM  
Blogger Rodney Hart said...

Alzheimers doesn't just strike the old, you know.

You win a H-W fish wrapper for the fine report, Nick.

June 22, 2007 12:41 PM  

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