Game 8: H-W Demons 12, Cooler Boyz 3

History was made tonight in Division V. For the first time in Quincy Park District Division V history, a player was picked off first base.

God bless the Cooler Boyz.

With two outs and a runner on first in the third inning at Wavering, one of the Cooler Boyz decided to float away from first base after one of his teammates had just whiffed at an offering by Grape Ape. Making like Yadier Molina, DOB noticed the transgression and fired a BB down to first base. The offending Cooler Boy was out by a mile and history was made.

You see, you can't steal in Division V play. The Cooler Boy had no reason to run since his teammate came as close to hitting the ball as the Weamster did to making a diving catch later in the game (or about 10 feet away).

The first base ump was stunned that he had to call someone out on such a play. He was even more shocked that he had to explain the play to the Cooler Boyz for the next inning and a half.

God bless the Cooler Boyz.

Let me get this out of the way. I like the Cooler Boyz, they all seem to be good folk. And they're a great example of nice guys finishing last. They haven't won a game this season and have triumphed just once over the past two summers. It doesn't look like the losing streak is going to end any time soon.

Maybe they'd actually come close to being competitive if they actually knew the rules of baseball. Their captain tried to advance on a ball that Eric B. got a glove one while trying was trying to chase it down in foul territory near third base. But it wasn't just their Cap'n who thought he should have kept running. At least three other Boyz were yelling at him to go to second and were dumbfounded when Cappy was told to go back to home plate to hit. He wound up fouling out on the next pitch, shaking his head on the way back to the dugout.

God bless the Cooler Boyz.

How bad was it for the Cooler Boyz? They were tied with the mighty, first-place Demons 2-2 and got the first two batters in the third inning out. I had said something in the third-base coaches box about it not being our night.

Their third-baseman, Rakers, looks at me and says, "You guys have played us enough, you know how it's going to turn out."

He was right. We broke things open in the fourth inning with seven runs and cruised to our eighth straight win of the season. Nearly everybody contributed to the win. Everyone except Kriss Kross, who struggled against his Cooler co-workers. After playing one of his best games of the season last week, Kriss Kross struggled.

Grape Ape was dominant on the mound. He kept the Cooler Boyz guessing most of the night and even got a strikeout looking. Grape also enticed two foul outs to DOB behind the plate. DOB ripped his hat off both times to make solid plays. If there were a Division V all-star game, DOB would no doubt be the catcher on that team for his prowess. (He's no Mike Piazza though. He went 1 for 4 with an RBI and a run scored. He's now 10 for 21 with four runs scored and nine RBI.)

DOB even had imitators in the field late in the game as Shawny ripped off his cap while running down a ball in left field.

Props to Rob Base for showing up on the day his nuts got cut off. No more Baby Momma drama for him (and he continued to improve his BPG - beers per game - average).

God bless the Cooler Boyz.

For Christmas, I think we should all pitch in and get the Boyz a rulebook for them to read up on. Some extra players wouldn't hurt either. They only have two players on that team - Rueb and the shortstop. It ain't easy going 2 on 10 every week. Not even the best porn stars could do that and live.

At 8-0, we've already tied our win total from last year. We allegedly have a two-game lead in the standings with four games to play. However, the QPD standings haven't been updated since late June. Who knows where we are.

We'll try to make it nine straight next Thursday when we run into DT Tattoo at 9 p.m. at Moorman Main.

Until next week.