Awards Time (on frozen ice)

Now that the season that would never end has ended, it's time to hand out the 2008 H-W Demons season-ending awards.

The committee of one — DOB — has cooked these up once again. Don't like it, leave a comment.

Off we go:

Least Valuable Player

Geez, how the mighty have fallen. During the Demons' 2007 Quincy Park District Division V championship run, Shawny was the man. He won team and league MVP honors in leading the Demons to their first championship in franchise history.

2008? He disappeared faster than a porn addict at a strip club. Shawny fell in love this year. May have been great for him, but the Demons suffered as a result. He rarely showed up and when he did, he was far from his 2007 form.

Will Shawny be back in 2009? He brought his boy, Cooley-O, along for the ride this season, but he, too, disappeared after just a few games. Could Shawny be the D-V Comeback Player of the Year next year or will he be nothing more than a one-hit wonder?

Past winners

2007: Diamond Dave (who I probably couldn't pick out of a lineup right now)

2006: Grape Ape

Play(s) of the Year

I'm sure there were some good ones, but we're going to pick out a series of plays that summed up the Demons' 2008 campaign.

In what proved to be our last complete game of the season, Rob Base was just missing the clown music while playing right field against Paulie's Customs. Let's go back to the night of Thursday, Aug 14:

There were times on Thursday when we looked like we hadn't played for two weeks. After taking charge with a five-run fourth inning to go up 5-1, we gave it all back and more in the bottom of the inning. We had two outs and one of Paulie's lefty's hit a fly ball in foul territory to Rob Base in right field. Unfortunately, he dropped the ball. The guy went on to single home a run. No big deal.

Then another Custom Paulie hit a fly ball to Rob Base in right. And he dropped it again.

Then another Custom Paulie hit a fly ball to Rob Base in right. And he dropped it again. (Really, he dropped three fly balls in the same inning. One of the saddest sights in Demons history.)

We came back to win the game, but we were just playing out the string for the most part. A memorable moment in a not-so memorable year.

Past winners

2007: DOB (picking off a Cooler Boyz player at first base)

2006: Ed (the infamous self-inflicted wedgie)

Demons Rookie of the Year

It looked like Cooley-O was going to be hard to beat, but then he left us, thus giving the honors to Bad Brad by default. But Brad was solid all season long, hitting near the top of the order and playing solid defense in the outfield.

Past winners

2007: Jazzy Jeff

2006: Shawny

2005: DOB (the only award given out after the season)

Ed Sprague Memorial Bonehead Play of the Year

Kriss Kross set the bar high after his blunder the season-opening win over the Green Street Posse.

Time to hop back in the time machine to Thursday, May 1:

The most bone-headed play of the night belonged to Kriss Kross. Maybe playing with the Cooler Boys is rubbing off on him. He was the victim of the first ever — in the history of softball or baseball — 3-1-2-3 putout. Kriss Kross hit a screamer to first base, but the first baseman botched it. His flip to the pitcher, who covered the base for some reason, glanced off the pitcher's glove and started rolling home. By this time, Kriss Kross was about two steps away from his Bud Light in the dugout and then decided to try to run to first. The catcher got the ball and threw him out by a step.

Laziest. Play. Ever. Athletes talk about giving about 110 percent. Kriss Kross gave about 6.2 percent on that play.

I'm sure Kriss Kross is fired up about being a back-to-back winner of this prestigious honor.

Past winners

2007: Kriss Kross (pair of E-10s in the same inning, which led to him being replaced by The Weamster)

2006: The Weamster (for breaking his hand during a blowout loss to Snap-On Tools)

Most Improved Player

Geez, was anyone improved this year. We all regressed more than we improved. No soup for us.

Past winners

2007: Nick the Quick

2006: DOB

Most Valuable Player

We finally talked the Weamster into giving up his dream of being a Division V pitcher and allowed Jazzy Jeff to take over on the mound. It wasn't Jazzy's fault that we stunk behind him at times defensively and failed to generate offense on some nights.

He played harder than most of us, can hit and can pitch. For this Demons' outfit, that was good enough to be our MVP.

Past winners

2007: Shawny

2006: Hitman Hart

That's it. Nothing like wrapping up a softball season just 10 days before Christmas

Hopefully, we'll all be back next season and ready to reclaim what's rightfully ours — the QPD Division V championship.

It's official!

With the freezing rain that fell overnight and the impending snowstorm set to hit the area, the Herald-Whig Demons' season is officially over.

The Weamster received word from the Quincy Park District that the team would not be able to play its game during the "Avenue of Lights" as had been originally planned.

The news was met with a shrug by most of the Demons, many of whom have moved on to seeing how many beers they can consume during a three-game series at Tangerine Bowl. Word is Rob Base has carried over his league-leading BPG (Beer Per Game) average into the bowling season.

For the first time in three years, the Demons did not place in the top three in the ultra-competitive Division V race.

Still going, and going, and going ...

Believe it or not, the 2008 H-W Demons season isn't over.

We were supposed to play last Thursday, Sept. 4, and were rained out. We were supposed to play Jenny Craig and Co. again tonight and another round of rain wiped that game out.

Yes, we may just play into October.

According to the Weamster, Quincy's No. 1 adult softball news source, many of the guys are unavailable to play now. Some are bowling, others darts, some have taken up a quilting class or something.

We'll see if we ever finish the season. I think we're supposed to play at 7 p.m. next Thursday at Wavering. If Mother Nature allows it to happen.

It happened again

It appears that the H-W Demons' 2008 season of Quincy Park District Division V softball will never end.

On Thursday night, we were able to start a matchup with Jenny Craig and Co., but we all knew we weren't going to be there long. With lightning everywhere and storm on the way, we knew the chances of us finishing the game were able as good as us seeing Shawny and Cooley-O both show up and play again ... in other words, zero.

Merely playing out the string, the Demons weren't into it. We picked our own positions in the first inning, making Hitman Hart the tallest left-fielder in the history of the game. We also had a left-handed shortstop thanks to Kriss Kross.

Despite the fact that Jenny Craig and Co. only had eight guys, they put it on us. They scored five runs off Jazzy Jeff in the first, while we did nothing in the bottom half of the inning.

At this point, it was obvious what was going to happen. There was going to be some tremendous rush to get the game in. 

DOB couldn't let us absorb another loss on our record, so he stepped in and did the only thing he could do ... pitch. After giving up only one unearned run in his lone 2007 appearance, DOB was shelled by Jenny Craig and Co. He walked batters, let them pound balls all over the field. The Demons were on the field forever. By the time the merry-go-round had stopped, the Demons were down 16-0. 

But DOB's move worked wonders. After the Demons went down harmlessly in the bottom of the second and Jenny and Co. did the same in the top of the third, the umps had to call the game since the lighting was so close and the skies opened up.

As a result, it's like the game never happened.

What will happen to the Demons' season? Will we get to play our final game? Will the Park District allow summer softball to go into the fall season? Does anyone really care? (Although, there was a gentleman from Paulie's Customs who was very interested in our result. Seems they get a trophy or something if we lose, I think.)

Check back to the blog to find out the Demons' fate. I'll also hand out my season-ending awards, if in fact the season is over.

Thank you for your continued support, especially the Demon groupies!!

Guess what?

Mother Nature does NOT want the Demons' season to end.

Yet another rainout for your boys of summer. I believe its the umpteenth this season. Yes, that's official.

Seriously, we're thinking of putting on Christmas lights and giving the patrons of the Avenue of the Lights something extra to keep them interested in as they look at the other displays.

This season may NEVER end.

I guess we'll try again next Thursday at 7 at Moorman Main against Jenny Craig.

Yes, the Demons now have groupies ... 4 Life!!!

This kid will one day pitch like his old man, Jazzy Jeff. Gotta love the Demons in training. He can already handle his liquor better than Marky Mark.

Game 11 report: H-W Demons 11, Paulie's Customs 9

After one of the darkest days in H-W Demons history last week, your heroes rebounded like champions Thursday night at Moorman Main.

Last week, the Demons had to take what was believed to be the first forfeit in team history after we didn't have enough people show up to face Paulie's. That gave Paulie's a free win.

You can't blame the Demons for not wanting to play out the string. After the stinging losses to JJ's Customs, it looked like the Demons' chances of winning a second straight title in the rough and tumble Quincy Park District Division V ranks were finished. Just six people showed to play a scheduled 6 p.m. game last week against Paulie's.

On Thursday, we gave Paulie's a custom beating and are (get this) now tied for first place in Division V with JJ's and Paulie's. Alas, even if we are able to beat Jenny Craig and Co. in our 7 p.m. season finale next Thursday (weather permitting), we don't have the tiebreaker on our side. We have a 1-3 record against those teams, which will likely put us in third place should we win next week.

There were times on Thursday where we looked like we hadn't played for two weeks. After taking charge with a five-run fourth inning to go up 5-1, we gave it all back and more in the bottom of the inning. We had two outs and one of Paulie's lefty's hit a fly ball in foul territory to Rob Base in right field. Unfortunately, he dropped the ball. The guy went one to single home a run. No big deal.

Then another Custom Paulie hit a fly ball to Rob Base in right. And he dropped it again.

Then another Custom Paulie hit a fly ball to Rob Base in right. And he dropped it again. (Really, he dropped three fly balls in the same inning. One of the saddest sights in Demons history.)

By the time we finally got out of the inning, we trailed 7-5. But the Demons weren't going to go down without a fight. We eventually came back to take an 11-9 lead in the top of the sixth. Jazzy Jeff induced them into a 1-2-3 inning in the bottom of the sixth.

After we came up empty in the top half of the seventh, Jazzy got Paulie's out as a guy with more tats than anyone in the league (who had whiffed earlier) hit a lazy fly ball to Bad Brad to end the game.

Nothing great on the hitting front (at least that I can remember).

Maybe the biggest news of the night is that the Demons now have a groupies (as you saw from above). Members of Jazzy Jeff's family and others have made Demons fan jerseys and wore them to the game. They were much better backers than the Merry Beavers, who stuck around to drunkenly root for Paulie's so that they could finish above your heroes in the standings.

The groupies (and the Demons) will be in full effect next Thursday at 7 p.m. when we play Jenny Craig and Co. at Moorman Main. It's the last game of the season. Maybe we can even get Shawny and Cooley-O to show up.

Game 9 report: JJ's Kitchen 16, Demons 6

The bad news coming out of Thursday's happenings at Wavering Park: The Demons' hopes of successfully defending their Division V crown came to an end.

The good news: The Demons don't have to worry about being bumped up in class next year. Had the Demons won the title again, they would have been moved up next year.

JJ's made sure there would be no repeat of last year's Demons celebration by sweeping the season series. JJ's, a first-year D-V entry, has the inside track to the title.

Unlike the rest of the Shoeless Joe impersonators in Demons jerseys, DOB came to play. After missing the earlier meeting with JJ's, DOB went 2 for 2 with a run scored. Shawny even pulled himself away from his lady long enough to hit a 2-run bomb.

Both of JJ's wins over the Demons come with asteriks attached. While DOB missed the first meeting, Hitman Hart and Big John Studd were gone on Thursday.

The Demons start to play out the string next Thursday. Since I lost the rainout schedule, we'll have to bug the Weamster to provide time and place for next week's game.

Mother Nature strikes again

Rain wiped your heroes out again on Thursday night.

At this rate, we'll finish the season on Thanksgiving night.

Game 8: H-W Demons 9, Green Street Hooligans 8

All is back to normal in Demon Nation. The return of DOB meant the Demons' return to their winning ways on Thursday night at Wavering, but not before a huge scare for the dozens and dozens of the Demons fans.

Going into the bottom of the seventh inning, the Demons held a comfy 9-4 lead. Jazzy Jeff was dealing like always and the defense was pretty solid behind him.

Until the Wiemelt brothers showed up. First, the Weamster made like a wicket and let a ball roll right through his legs and it rolled to the wall in center field (thinking back, this might have happened in an earlier inning, but it was still terrible.)

The Weamster did horribly misplay a fly ball in the frame. Thank goodness Demons rookie Brad Pitt was backing him up on the play.

The Weamster had some company in the Oops Department as Kriss Kross slipped his way into allowing a bases-clearing triple that made the score 9-8.

The Hooligans, who are only slightly better than the Cooler Boyz of old, had the tying run at third and the game-winning run at first with one out. Jazzy got one of their players to hit a double play ball to Hitman Hart at shortstop. He gobbled the ball up, stepped on second and threw to first. Credit the Hooligan for hustling down the line to barely avoid the double play. While all this was going on, the guy at third stood there and decided to head for home much too late. Big John Studd rifled a throw to Nick the Quick behind the plate for the game-ending 6-3-2 double play.

A credit goes to Derek "D-Nice" O'Brien for stealing DOB's mitt to play catch. The reigning Division V all-star catcher was on the pines for the seventh when he should have been in the game. As a result, D-Nice will receive 50 cents every time that Kriss Kross cusses for the rest of the year.

The Demons are still undefeated with DOB, who was 2 for 2 and drew a walk (and 1-1 without him this season.) I think the commenter after our last game was right on, the Demons do need DOB much more than he needs the Demons.

Not only did the Weamster struggle in the field, but he was woeful at the plate, going 0 for 4. At least he didn't whiff badly like Rob Base and foul out like Jazzy Jeff (then again, pitchers aren't supposed to hit.)

And at least the Weamster showed up, unlike the most whipped man in Quincy, Shawny. He claims to have received free tickets to the Cardinals game, but I heard there was a 98 degrees reunion he had to take his woman, too. Hopefully, we don't play on the same night that the Jonas Brothers are playing the state fair next month. If so, he won't be with us.

Now tied for first place in the rugged Division V ranks, the Demons (7-1) will be back at it next week. I'm too lazy to go look at the new schedule the Weamster gave us. We play at 7 p.m. against another hapless foe. That's all I know.

In case you were wondering ...

your heroes were rained out on July 3rd and had a bye on July 10. We're back in action this Thursday. We'll face off against the Green Street Hooligans at 6 p.m. at Wavering.

DOB will be back, so that will improve the Demons' chances of winning.

Game 6: H-W Demons 20, Uncle Bob's 17

As the great philosopher of the late 1980s LL Cool J once sang:

"Don't call it a comeback, we've been here for years."

(I'm pretty sure the Funions cover LL, too.)

It one of the most stirring comebacks in H-W Demons history, your diamond heroes kept their perfect record in tact Thursday night with a come-from-behind victory over the Brewmeisters at a soggy Upper Moorman.

After spotting Uncle Bob's a 12-run lead after the top of the first inning, the Demons rallied to improve to 6-0 on the season. Credit Uncle Bob's for spraying the ball all around the park in the first inning, which seemed like it was never going to end.

Credit Jazzy Jeff for keeping his cool on the mound, and for the Demons' bats for sizzling once again. After a one-run first, the Demons struck for four in the second to pull within 12-5 thanks to a three-run inside-the-park homer by Cooley-O.

The Demons battled back to tie the game with a seven-run fourth inning and tacked on seven more runs in the sixth. Jazzy Jeff hit like a pitcher in the sixth, making like Marky Mark of a week ago and making two outs in the inning. (And shouldn't doing that be worth some sort of beer penalty?)

We made a few flubs in the field, but we also had a few nice double plays as well. We actually threw a guy out at the plate on a fly ball hit to Eric B. in left field. (Yes, Eric B. was in left because the most p-whipped man in Quincy, Shawny, wasn't at the game because he had to take his girl to the Sadie Hawkins dance or something.) Eric B. rifled a throw to Cooley-O, who threw a perfect strike to Jazzy Jeff, who was covering home on the play. (Why Jazzy was covering home, I'll never know. The Weamster was the catcher tonight. Hopefully, he got a good look at the play and that there is actually someone in the league who runs slower than he does.)

Hitman Hart also made a nice play at second base after being taken out by some thug Brewmeister. Hitman was pumped up on the play. If he had his guitar on him, he certainly would have made like Jeff Jarrett and blasted him over the head with it.

After taking a 20-14 lead into the seventh, Uncle Bob's tried to comeback, but it was futile. Like he's done many times before, Big John Studd made a play to end the game, this time diving to his right to snag a liner, earning him the game ball.

We'll put perfection on the line again next week as we start the second half of our season. Wavering will be the site for our first meeting of the year with JJ's Kitchen. Game time is 7 p.m. Hitman will be guest blogging as work will have me out of town. First place will be on the line, too. JJ's is 5-1 after beating Paulie's Customs in a battle of 4-1 teams on Thursday.

Vegas odds have Shawny showing up at 3 to 1 against. There's a sock hop next Thursday that he might have to attend.

Game 5: H-W Demons 18, Craig & Awerkamp 5

Your diamond heroes did what the Los Angeles Lakers couldn't on Thursday night: Build a big lead and keep on laying the smack down.

The Demons put up what's believed to be a blog-era record 14 runs in the first inning en route to another beatdown over another hapless Division V foe at Moorman Main. By the time the merry-go-round was done in the top of the first inning, the home team was demoralized and the Demons were looking forward to the post-game brews.

We found our hero of the night in the first inning when Nick the Quick hit an inside-the-park grand slam as part of the outbreak.

We also found our goat of the night in the first inning as Marky Mark did the improbable and made two of our three outs in the inning. The good news was that he was hitting in the seven hole, meaning 18 men and the suddenly p-whipped Shawny went to the plate in the frame.

After missing last week's game, DOB should have stayed home again. He had two hits, scored twice and drove in a run, but fouled out for the first time this season and played poorly behind the plate in the first inning, including missing a rocket Kriss Kross threw to him. As a result, DOB pulled himself from the game so Weamster could get some work in. Sadly, DOB forgot to drink any beer and is still stuck with a team-worst BPG (beers per game) average of 0.00.

The bad news for the Demons is that DOB will be at next week's game. The good news? He'll be out two weeks from now because of work.

With the win, the Demons improved to 5-0 - their second-best start since 2005 (when DOB joined the team. And since I'm team historian now, does it really matter what happened before that?)

Since DOB joined the Demons, the team is 30-11 (again, I date things to my joining the team).

(Or you can look at it as we're 15-2 since Shawny and Jazzy Jeff's arrival.)

(Or you can look at it as we're 5-0 since Cooley-O and Bad Brad joined the team.)

No matter which way you slice it, the Demons are dominating like never before.

Uncle Bob's Bar got an up-close look tonight at what their fate is next Thursday at 9 p.m. at Upper Moorman since they stuck around to watch the whipping we handed out. We'll try to go to 6-0 (and see if Nick the Quick can go yard again.)

Game 3: H-W Demons 15, Merry Beavers 8

When your diamond heroes last ran into the Merry Beavers, the Beavers slinked away with an 8-7 victory last season to earn a season split. It (temporarily) stopped the Demons' charge toward their first Division V crown.

On Thursday night, there was no stopping the most dominant force the Division V ranks have ever seen in the Gem City. The Demons battered the ball (and the Beavers) around to improve to 3-0 with a win at Upper Moorman park on a beautiful night for softball (and drinking).

Like Costa Rica to the U.S. men's soccer team, the Beavers are to the Demons. They're the Cubs to our Cardinals. The Hearns to our Hagler. You get the idea. They're our nemesis.

Thanks to some shrewd moves by the Weamster, who was back from sunning himself in Monkey Run, Mo., the Demons were able to prevail - quite easily. As suggested by the blogs who cover the Demons (me), the Weamster swallowed his pride and sent Jazzy Jeff to the hill. Like he did last week, Jazzy got it done against the hard-hitting Beavers. One Beaver took him deep, but more often than not Jazzy was taking it to the Beavers (just like he did when he was in high school.)

Somehow, Eric B. and Marky Mark worked a miraculous switch between second and third for the entire game. Marky Mark avoided getting the ball hit to him and Eric B. (after a week's absence) made some nice plays. None was better than his Willie Mays like over-the-shoulder basket catch while fighting the swirling winds in the seventh inning.

The Hitman was solid at shortstop, taking away a few would-be Beaver hits, while Big John Studd snared a line drive (saving his face in the process) to end the game.

The Demons batted around in an eight-run fourth that all but put the game away. Shawny was back and nearly went yard, and Kriss Kross continued his solid play by nearly taking one out of the park.

While his managerial moves were smooth, the Weamster left a little to be desired on the field. He whiffed (the first for a Demon this season) and dropped a foul pop-up that the all-star DOB would normally field with ease. Major props to Shawny for flipping off his hat - a la DOB - on a play in the outfield.

With everyone on the same page, the Demons may just be unstoppable (haven't I written that before?). We'll be back in action next Thursday when we face off against JM Huber at 8 p.m. at Wavering. I may or may not be there because of work, so you may have a guest blogger next week as the Hitman (or maybe even Tookie if we could get him to show up for a game) will fill in if I can't make it.

Game 2: H-W Demons 20, Mendon Bar 8

Mother Nature tried to do us in again, but she soon realized it's a futile effort - trying to stop the H-W Demons from their round of destruction.

With the Weamster sunning himself in Monkey Run, Mo., after getting kicked out of his Marblehead camp last Memorial Day, DOB was in charge. Large and in charge.

The Demons demoralized the poor lawyers from Mendon. And - get this - the Demons had only nine players. In addition to the Weamster's absence, we were missing Shawny and Cooley-O, who were both at the Unity baseball team's year-end celebration. Eric B. was also curiously absent. Who needs them? (Also is Chuck D or Grape Ape ever going to show up this season?)

With Jazzy Jeff making like Dice-K on the mound and a solid defense behind him, the Demons had little trouble. We hit around twice, getting base knocks up and down the lineup. Kriss Kross actually showed up to play, scoring four runs and driving in three. Had he not come down with a case of pussitis in the fifth inning and played center field instead of third base, the final score wouldn't have been as close as it was. (No offense to Marky Mark, who danced around a few balls in a seven-run fifth by the Lawyers.)

Big John Studd and Nick the Quick each drove in four runs, while Marky Mark and DOB each drove in three from the Nos. 8 and 9 spots in the lineup.

DOB may just be the best player-coach in the history of the game. Not only was he able to craft a lineup that pounded out run after run, but he showed the skills that made him a first-team All Division V all-star last summer. With the wheels starting to come off the Demons' wagon in the fifth, DOB made a sliding catch in foul territory to help save the day.

When the Weamster gets back (or if someone reads this blog to him), he'll find out that things have changed. Jazzy Jeff is our starting pitcher for the rest of the season. He consistently threw strikes, including several curve balls, and fielded his position like no Demon pitcher has ever been able to do.

Here's how the defense should look next game:
P-Jazzy Jeff
C-Nick, DOB
1B-Big John Studd, Weamster
2b-Eric B.
SS-Hit Man Hart
3B - Cooley-O
LF - Brad or Weamster
LCF-Shawny
RCF-Kriss Kross
RF-Rob Base, Marky Mark

Do that, and no one, and the Rock means NO ONE, will be able to touch the Demons this season. Not only will we defend our crown, but we'll do it by going undefeated.

The Weamster will be back next week to run things again. Let's see if he makes like John Paxson and totally screws up a would-be championship team. (No pressure.)

We're back at it next Thursday at 7 p.m. when we face our long-time nemesis - the Merry Beavers - at Upper Moormain.

Mother Nature 2, Demons 1

If you didn't already figure it out, the Demons were rained out on Thursday night.

Another attempt by the Quincy Park District at keeping us down, if you ask me. Upper Moorman was the only field that wasn't playable on Thursday night. Coincidence? I don't think so.

The Park District can't stop us, they can only hope to contain us.

With a bye this week, we're off until May 22.

Maybe then we'll be able to play.

Game 1: H-W Demons 10, Green Street Hooligans 6

The defending Division V champions began defense of their crown on a windy Moorman Main by taking down one of the new pieces of meat the Quincy Park District has thrown into the Division V arena.

The final score isn't indicative of how much your heroes were in control of this game. Had it not been for three garbage-time runs in the top of the seventh, the Demons' superiority would have easily been seen from the final score.

The Hooligans have a few players, but they could more than make up for the devastating loss of the U.S. Cooler Boyz as the Division V whipping boys.

(By the way, seems the Cooler Boys - and you might want to sit down for this one - .... have moved up a Division and switched nights. They've swiped Kriss Kross and Marky Mark to play for them on Tuesday nights. And - sit down again - they've already matched their 2007 win total. From the sounds of it, the Boyz beat down on a bunch of old men. If you look back at former posts on this blog and you'll note that I suggested the Boyz play the elderly a long time ago. Look it up. Go back to the August 2006 archives and it's right there. I'm a prophet!)

Back to your heroes. No one was spectacular tonight, but the defense was pretty solid - save for the last inning. We turned a couple of double plays, including one by one of our rookies - Cooley-O. Our other newbie - Brad "yet to have a rap nickname" played well in right-center field and made several plays.

The most bone-headed play of the night belonged to Kriss Kross. Maybe playing with the Cooler Boyz is rubbing off on him. He was the victim of the first ever - in the history of softball or baseball - 3-1-2-3 putout. Kriss Kross hit a screamer to first base, but the first baseman botched it. His flip to the pitcher, who covered the base for some reason, glanced off the pitchers' glove and started rolling home. By this time, Kriss Kross was about two steps away from his Bud Light and in the dugout and then decided to try to run to first. The catcher got the ball and threw him out by a step.

Laziest. Play. Ever. Athletes talk about giving about 110 percent. Kriss Kross gave about 6.2 percent on that play.

Nick the Quick gets honorable mention for getting doubled off after DOB hit a pop up in the infield that resulted in an infield fly being called. Nice work.

After a rocky first where the Weamster threw as many strikes in an inning as he does during a game of bowling - three - he settled down and let the defense do the work for him.

All in all, a good opening night for the Demons.

We'll be back in action next Thursday to see some more new Division V meat. We'll square off against Paulie's Customs at 6 p.m. at Upper Moorman. They'd better be ready for a custom beat-down at the hands of the Demons.

Demons notes: Big John Studd's BPG average - beers per game average - was hurt right out of the gates. Taking some antibiotics, he was forbidden to drink. ... We're hoping to make BPG an official Demon stat this year. DOB went 1 for 3, including a stupid pop up in his lone left-handed at-bat. ... Grape Ape and Chuck D were MIA. ... A tip for the Weamster for next game. Slide Eric B. over to second base and put Cooley-O at third. We'd be money all over the infield with that move.

Mother Nature 1,
Demons 0

As you guessed, Mother Nature conspired against your heroes on Thursday night and delayed the inevitable - a whippin' of JJ's Kitchen.

BTW, I found out where JJ's Kitchen is by driving down a Quincy side street the other day. It's located around 21st and Ohio. They're a catering biz. Who knew??

Anyway, we're off until next Thursday.

Hopefully, Hitman's ear has healed by then.

Schedule is out!!!

Who cares about the release of the 2008 NFL schedule, which got much love on ESPN's family of networks on Tuesday.

The big announcement came on Wednesday with the release of the H-W Demons' 2008 schedule. Your defending Quincy Park District Division V champions found out who they will pummel this summer on their way to back-to-back league crowns.

The Demons will start their title defense against a group plugging themselves as JJ's Kitchen. Well, we're going to be all up in their kitchen at 8 p.m. on April 24 at Wavering Park, the first step in a 12-step program of Division V dominance.

JJ's Kitchen, who we can only hope is named after former Gems GM Jeff Jansen - or better yet - for the fine peeps at Jimmy John's, is one of several new entries in the Division V ranks this season. Other newbies include the Green Street Hooligans. If they're anything like the Mean Street Posse, we will dominate the sweater-vest-wearing chumps.

Mendon Bar is also in the league. I thought there were two bars in Mendon or else all of the lawyers in Josh Rabe's hometown have formed a team. Isn't the Late Model Lawyer from Mendon. Where's Stevie Dirt when you need him?

Also Paulie's Customs and JM Huber-GCC appear to be new to the league. These could be some familiar guys with new sponsors, who knows.

I'm deeply saddened by the fact the Cooler Boyz aren't among the nine teams listed in Division V. U.S. Cooler has long been a staple (and by staple, I mean whipping boy) of Division V. They will be missed (if they are truly gone.) Maybe we can still recruit Rueb to play for us.

If you're interested, we've been challenged by the paper champs from Division III to an exhibition this Sunday. Game time is 5:30 p.m. at Upper Moorman if you're interested. The Weamster said he couldn't go because he has to be at Quincy Raceways. Where's the dedication?

Here's the schedule:

April 24 vs. JJ's Kitchen, 8 p.m., Wavering
May 1 vs. Green Street Hooligans, 7 p.m., Moorman Main
May 8 vs. Paulie's Customs, 6 p.m., Upper Moorman
May 15 Bye
May 22 vs. Mendon Bar, 6 p.m., Moorman Main
May 29 vs. Merry Beavers, 7 p.m., Upper Moorman
June 5 vs. JM Huber-GCC, 8 p.m., Wavering
June 12 vs. Phil Craig & Awerkamp, 9 p.m., Moorman Main
June 19 vs. Uncle Bob's, 9 p.m., Moorman Main
June 26 vs. JJ's Kitchen, 7 p.m., Wavering
July 3 vs. Paulie's Customs, 9 p.m., Moorman Main
July 10 Bye
July 17 vs. Green Street Hooligans, 6 p.m., Wavering
July 24 vs. Phil Craig & Awerkamp, 7 p.m., Moorman Main