Awards Time!

We wrapped up another Division V title, going 9-3 and sharing the crown with JJ's Catering. (By the way, Tap Outs vs. JJ's is the Quincy Park District's answer to Cubs-Cards and Saux-Yanks.)

The judge and jury for the awards — DOB — has cooked these up. Like them? Don't like them? Leave a comment.

Here we go:

Least Valuable Player

If you blinked, you may have missed Jared Bell's time as a member of the Tap Outs. Work forced him to miss some games early on. By the time his slow time at work rolled around, he was nowhere to be found. He wound up leaving Quincy after about six months to head back home, leaving the Tap Outs with a hole on their roster.

We'll have to find someone to replace him on the 2011 roster. It shouldn't be too tough.

Past winners:

2008: Shawny

2007: Diamond Dave (who I still couldn't pick out of a lineup)

2006: Grape Ape

Play of the Year

He's our Kirk Gibson.

A bad back kept Hitman Hart out of the lineup for most of the season. However, we guilted him into coming back for a July 15 game against Hootey's. The game started out ugly as the Tap Outs trailed 14-1 at one point early on.

But your diamond warriors scratched and clawed their way back into the game, eventually forcing extra innings — despite some pretty terrible third-base coaching by DOB. Let's go back to that night, which happended to be Jazzy Jeff's birthday:

With two on and two out, Hitman stepped to the plate. He grabbed at the small of his back as he entered the box. On the first pitch he saw, he laced a shot to straightaway center field. For a second, it appeared the Hootey's center fielder was going to catch it. But as he made a move on the ball, he slipped and the ball sailed over his head to the wall.

Hart, eating up nine feet of dirt with each one of his strides, quickly circled the bases. By the time the Hootey's folks got the ball, he was already near third base. There was no play at the plate this time as the Tap Outs prevailed to improve to 7-1 on the season.

The play was, quite possibly, the highlight of the Hitman's softball career.

Past winners:

2008: Rob Base (for a comedy of errors)

2007: DOB (for picking off a member of the Cooler Boyz at first base)

2006: Ed (for the now infamous self-inflicted wedgie while playing right field)

Rookie of the Year

We'll have more on this year's recipient, Scotty 2 Hotty, later in the program

Past winners:

2008: Bad Brad (Whatever happened to him?)

2007: Jazzy Jeff

2006: Shawny

2005: DOB (only award given after the year)

Ed Sprague Memorial Bonehead Play of the Year

In the season finale, DOB showed why he doesn't score very many runs.

First of all, he has to get on base, which didn't happen as often this year as it has in the past. Secondly, he has to listen to his third base coach when he has a chance to put a run on the board.

The Tap Outs were well on their way to a win, but DOB for some reason failed to looked at Cory in The House in the third base coaches box late in the game. With the left fielder fumbling the ball, Cory decided to send DOB, who decided to stop between third base and home. For some reason, DOB — after stopping for a good two seconds — took off toward home again.

He was out by a mile, drawing the ire and ridicule of his Tap Outs teammates.

Maybe DOB will get better at running the bases next year.

Past winners:

2008: Kriss Kross (for being the victim of the world's first ever 3-1-2-3 putout)

2007: Kriss Kross (for having two E-10s in the same inning, which led to him being replaced by the Weamster)

2006: The Weamster (for breaking his hand after pounding it on the ground during a blowout loss to Snap-On Tools)

Most Improved Player

Don't know that we had a Most Improved Player. All of us did pretty good for being off an entire year. I'll give the nod to one of our most consistent players during our time as Demons/Tap Outs.

Big John Studd quietly goes about his business at first base and hitting in the middle of the lineup. He's a rock from which the franchise's foundation is built around.

Past winners

2008: None (we stunk)

2007: Nick the Quick

2006: DOB

Most Valuable Player

If it wasn't for Scotty 2 Hotty, who knows where the Tap Outs would have finished. He was a pretty good anchor at the top of the lineup, hitting mostly in the No. 2 spot behind Eric B.

Not only did he consistently get on base, but he also made outstanding plays in the field throughout the season. He made a pair of web gems in the season finale that would have been up for Play of the Year had it not been for Hitman Hart's walk-off heroics against Hootey's.

Past winners

2008: Jazzy Jeff

2007: Shawny

2006: Hitman Hart

That does it for this year.

If you're one of the millions of Tap Outs fans, make sure to check back next April when we begin our pursuit of yet another league crown.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

Talk about your comebacks.

After taking a year off because of sponsorship difficulties, the team formerly known as the Demons once again ran roughshod over the always-competitive, sometimes-comedic Quincy Park District Thursday Night Division V slow-pitch softball league.

By fashioning a 9-3 record, the new Ted's Shirt Shack Tap Outs wound up taking the D-V title for the second time in franchise history. The Tap Outs tied with JJ's Catering for the crown after JJ's gagged it off on the final night of the season to allow the Tap Outs a chance to tie for the crown.

It's another glorious moment in club history. Congrats to Kriss Kross for putting together a team that is suddenly morphing into the New York Yankees of Quincy Park District softball.

Other than the Hitman, I think most everyone else should be back as we try to make it three titles in five years.

Coming up — the annual team awards.

Game 12 Report — Tap Outs 14, Entrup 5

Do you believe in miracles?

As Al Michaels said at the end of the U.S-Russia hockey game in the 1980 Olympics — "YES!!!!"

Going into their Quincy Park District Division V season finale, your diamond heroes needed some divine intervention to come away with the league title. First, they needed to beat an Entrup team that had shocked them just two weeks ago.

Mission No. 1 was accomplished easily enough.

After polishing off the painters and dry wallers — who I must add do excellent work — the Tap Outs needed league-leading JJ's Catering to turd up against Hootey's Bar and Grill. JJ's came into the game with a 9-2 record, while Hootey's came in with a sub-.500 record.

A funny thing happened on the way to JJ's coronation as league champs — the lost 13-12 in the worst possible way. Hootey's took a 13-9 lead thanks to a five-run inning in the top of the seventh.

JJ's came back to make it a 13-12 game and had a runner on first and two outs with one of their best players at the plate. (I don't think the guy at the plate was on their roster, but whatever.) JJ's hired gun wound up lacing a shot to center field that rolled to the wall. He motored around the bases, but there was one problem — the guy who was on first fell down. The hired gun zipped past his fallen teammate while running the bases. As a result, he was called out for the third out of the inning and the end of the game.

As a result, JJ's and the Tap Outs finish the season with identical 9-3 records. According to Quincy Park District rules, the first tiebreaker is head-to-head competition. JJ's and the Tap Outs split two games this year. The Tap Outs won the first game 9-5, but lost the second 5-1. The second tiebreaker is run differential. Again, the teams are tied.

There was no third tiebreaker listed. From where I sit, JJ's win over the Tap Outs has a huge asterisk since DOB was not in attendance. We've seen that the Tap Outs are susceptible when DOB isn't in the lineup.

Who knows what the park district is going to do with the tiebreaker. We'll keep you posted once team skipper Kriss Kross hears of the decision.

As for the Tap Outs' win on Thursday night at Upper Moorman, it was a fairly easy one. Kriss Kross, playing with a hamstring injury, did fine in the circle, but got some help from his defense. No one was better on defense than Scottie Too Hottie at shortstop. He made a diving catch on a line drive and also dove for a fly ball down the left-field line to help keep Entrup in line.

Offensively, the Tap Outs scored five runs in the first inning and rolled from there. DOB went 1-or 4 and was thrown out at home on the worst base-running play of the season. DOB decided to stop between third base and home on a hit to left field, even though Cory in the house was sending him home. DOB was thrown out by a country mile.

However, Division V's best backstop made up for in in the next inning. He correctly asked for an appeal on a guy who tried to tag up from third. The umps called the guy — who left a good second early — out for the last out of the inning.

It appears the most of the Tap Outs plan to return for the 2011 season. Stay tuned to the blog in the upcoming days for the results of where we finish with the tiebreaker as well as the year-ending team honors.

Rodney's post-game presser

Here's some video shot by future Tap Outs player Matt Hopf from Hitman Hart's retirement ceremony:

Game 11 Report — Tap Outs 14, Outdoor Power 9

This one was for the Hitman.

In a dramatic turn of events earlier this week, long-time Demons/Tap Outs stalwart Rodney "Hitman" Hart announced that Thursday's Division V game would be his last. Unlike that diva Brett Favre, the Hitman was steadfast in his retirement announcement.

His decision caught the team by surprise. Manager Kriss Kross couldn't even bring himself to watch the Hitman's swansong.

And what an exit it was. The Hitman's night got off to a rough start as he fell backward trying to catch a fly ball in center field and had the ball pop out of his glove. It was part of a five-run first inning or the Power Crew.

He quickly made amends though by bashing a two-run homer deep to center field as the Tap Outs quickly established themselves as the more dominant team. Mired in a two-game losing streak, the Tap Outs flexed their collective muscle to cruise to the win, pushing their record to 8-3.

Plenty of highlights in this one. Jazzy Jeff was back on the mound and dealt a winner. He had a strikeout and generally baffled the Outdoor Power Crew after that rough opening inning. DOB triggered a rare 2-5-3 double play and the middle infield also turned a DP, too. Heck, DOB even had a double down the line in the first inning as part of a seven-run first inning.

With dozens and dozens of people watching, Hitman conducted a postgame retirement speech that will soon be up on his blog.

It's been an honor to play alongside the Hitman for these seasons. Maybe we can keep him in the organ-eye-zation by coaxing him into coaching the Tap Outs. Hitman said he'd be open to that suggestion.

We'll try to close out the season next week at 7. Hopefully, the injured Kriss Kross will be back.

Game 10 Report—Entrup 18, Tap Outs 15

The Tap Outs' hopes of returning to the top of the Quincy Park District V heap took a serious hit with a sloppy loss at Upper Moorman on Thursday night.

The Tap Outs allowed Entrup to score seven runs in the top of the seventh to wipe out a 13-11 lead. The Tap Outs were denied a call on first base that would have been the third out of the inning when the Jim Joyce of D-V declared that Big John Studd had pulled his foot off of first base. The Tap Outs trailed 14-13 at the time of the play, meaning the two runs the team scored in the bottom half of the inning would have been sufficient enough for the win.

Tap Outs boss Kriss Kross made an interesting decision in the seventh when he told Donny to walk the bases loaded. Former QU football player Owen Gilliland then hit his second bomb of the game, this one a grand slam, to give Entrup all the cushion it would need.

Your diamond heroes also struggled in the field, missing several easy balls that could have made a difference. Nick the Quick had the catch of the night for his juggling act in center field to catch a pop fly to start the third inning.

It was the Tap Outs' first loss of the season with DOB in the lineup. Not that it mattered. He was a miserable 0 for 3, hitting in the last spot in the lineup.

The Tap Outs will play out the string over the next two weeks to finish the season.

Game 8 Report — Tap Out 19, Hootey's 18 (8 innings)

If body language could talk, this is what Hitman Hart's was screaming in aftermath of the Moorman Main Miracle on Thursday night.

Hunched over while trying to treat his ailing back, Hart's body was screaming, "I'm too old for this shit."

In the most dramatic scene since Kirk Gibson's game-winning homer against Dennis Eckersley in Game 1 of the 1988 series, Hart delivered a two-run home run with two outs in the bottom of the eighth inning to lift the Tap Outs to a 19-18 victory over Hootey's Bar & Grill.

Hart's heroics had the dozens of fans who showed up for the epic battle reciting Jack Buck's memorable line after that Gibson homer: "I don't believe what I just saw."

Hart's performance was straight out of the Gibson/Willis Reed/Lance Armstrong mold. That bad back has forced him to miss most of the season. However, Tap Out Nation got wind of his impending return during the day on Thursday. In move reminiscent of when Michael Jordan returned to the Chicago Bulls by putting out a simple press release saying, "I'm back," Hart posted this to his loyal Facebook followers:

"Being called out of retirement to play tonight for Tappe's (formerly YOUR Herald-Whig Demons)," Hart wrote. "Fortunately it's 100 in the shade, maybe the back will cooperate."

Like any aging star, Hart made a grand entrance, arriving at Moorman Main in the third inning of the game.

"I couldn't bend over to tie my cleats," he confessed after hitting a triple in his first at-bat.

When Hart arrived, the Tap Outs were mired in the muck. Hootey's had burst out to a huge lead, taking a 14-2 advantage on the Quincy Park District's first-place team in Division V.

Feeling confident about their chances for success against the league's best organ-eye-zation, Hootey's decided to change pitchers in the fifth inning with a 14-4 lead.

Bad move.

The bottom half of the Tap Outs' lineup set the table with players like Nick the Quick, DOB, Zack Attack, Corey Haim and the Hitman himself reaching base to spark a six-run outburst. Three outs away from defeat, the Tap Outs were back in the game.

Jazzy Jeff, the birthday boy, finally started to get some help from the Tap Outs' defense, which was absolutely dreadful in the early stages of the game. The Tap Outs went into the bottom of the seventh trailing 16-12.

They chipped away at the lead as Big John Studd came to bat with two on and none out and the team facing a 16-14 deficit. He laced a shot to left field over the left fielder's head. The ball went to the wall. Knowing Hootey's catcher had struggled catching the ball, DOB, who was the third-base coach, decided to send Big John Studd all the way for an inside-the-park homer, which would have won the game.

Instead, Hootey's pitcher wisely pushed the catcher out of the way and covered home, tagging out John. The play tied the game as the game went to extra innings.

Hootey's got two runs in the top of the eighth, meaning the Tap Outs had to get three to win and keep their one-game lead in the division. Thanks to the Hitman, they're still on top of the most rough-and-tumble division that the QPD has to offer.

With two on and two out, Hitman stepped to the plate. He grabbed at the small of his back as he entered the box. On the first pitch he saw, he laced a shot to straightaway center field. For a second, it appeared the Hootey's center fielder was going to catch it. But as he made a move on the ball, he slipped and the ball sailed over his head to the wall.

Hart, eating up nine feet of dirt with each one of his strides, quickly circled the bases. By the time, the Hootey's folks got the ball, he was already near third base. There was no play at the plate this time, as the Tap Outs prevailed to improve to 7-1 on the season.

The Tap Outs agreed that it was the best comeback in club history. The win set the Tap Outs up for a huge rematch next week with JJ's Catering. JJ's boys are at 6-2, just one game back of the Tap Outs. A Tap Outs win would give them a two-game lead in the division with just three games to play.

The Tap Outs will have to manage without DOB again next week as the all-star catcher will be on vacation. Who knows if Thursday's hero, Hitman Hart, will be recovered by that time?

Game 7 Report — Tap outs 9, JJ's Catering 5

Before we get to last night's wrap up, here's what guest blogger Jazzy Jeff had to say about our game on July 1:


The Warriors of Wavering came out with a hadr fought victory . Trailing 5-3 in the 5th scored 3 runs to take the league and tacked on another 3 in the 6th with Kris Kross opposite field double followed by Big John Studd's double to the same vicinity. The pitcher got some great help from his defense with Cory Haim making a nice jumping catch and Scotty 2 Hotty turning a U6-3 DP to stop a rally in the 7th

The hitting wasn't that great in the beginning but the Tap Outs peieced it together in the end and with defense being played the way it was the hitting wasn't as necessary tonight.

Editor's Note: The Tap Outs also proved they can play without DOB, improving their record to 1-1 when the he hasn't shown up.

Game 6 Report — Tap Outs 26, AFG 14

The Ted's Shirt Shack crew brought out the whuppin' sticks to avenge their only loss of the season.

The Tap Outs jumped out to a 10-0 lead after an inning and a half only to see the AFG boys fight their way back into it. AFG pulled within 14-13 after five, but an eight-run sixth gave the Tap Outs the breathing room they needed to improve to 5-1 with an easy win at Moorman Main.

Obviously, the offense was the key to the victory. Everyone in the lineup contributed. Eric B. and Scotty 2 Hotty set the tone at the top of the order. Kriss Kross showed some opposite field power and legged out an early triple as part of the 10-0 run to start the game.

Big John Studd also hit the ball where they weren't and hustled his way around the bases. Nick the Quick had some big hits as did Marky Mark. The Zach Attack also hit the ball all around the park. Heck, even DOB got it done, going 3 for 5 with 3 RBI and scoring two runs. DOB had a two-run single early in the decisive sixth inning to set the tone for the rout. DOB wasn't with the team during the earlier loss to AFG.

Jazzy Jeff, battling back from illness, got beat around more than normal, but the Tap Outs defense was pretty solid behind him.

The Tap Outs will be back in action next Thursday against JJ's Catering. The earlier meeting between the teams was rained out. DOB will be missing in action because he has to work. The Tap Outs will also be missing Hitman Hart (back injury) and Jared (who is moving out of town.) Will we survive? Game time is 7 p.m. at Wavering.

Game 5 Report — Tap Outs 9, Grove Inn 6

Thanks to a seventh-inning rally, the Tap Outs remained in a tie for first place in the Quincy Park District Division V race on Thursday night at Wavering Park.

A listless Tap Out team finally found its offensive groove in the seventh, scoring six runs to rally from a 6-3 deficit to pull otu the win and improve to 4-1 on the season.

The Tap Outs had a golden chance to tie the game at 5 with two outs in the top of the sixth, but DOB grounded out to third base to kill that rally. No matter, the top of the Tap Outs' order wound up picking up.

The first six Tap Outs reached base in the seventh inning to help give the Ted's Shirt Shack-sponsored unit the lead for the first time. DOB once again killed the inning by flying out to right field with a runner in scoring position (just consider him like Matt Holliday with RISP).

Again, it didn't matter as the Grove Inn crew, which was winless through its first three games, wound up going down in order in the seventh against Kriss Kross, who filled in admirably on the mound for Jazzy Jeff.

For the second straight week, the Tap Outs had just 10 players with Hitman Hart (back), The Bellringer (work) and Jazzy Jeff (cow milking) missing in action on Thursday night.

Donny Walberg showed up after missing the last two games. He and Kriss Kross both had foul outs though. Pretty weak sauce. At least Kriss Kross had the excuse that he was pitching — pitchers aren't supposed to hit. The defensive effort was OK, but not spectacular — except for DOB who once again showed his Gold Glove skills behind the plate by running down a pop fly in fair territory.

After a lost week at the plate last week, DOB had hits in first two plate appearances before turning into a rally killer late in the game. The Tap Outs are still undefeated with DOB in the lineup.

We'll be back at it next week, facing Outdoor Power in an 8 p.m. game at Upper Moorman.

Game 4 Report — Tap Outs 6, Leroy's Hideout 5

It might be a record, the Tap Outs actually got to play for two straight weeks.

Thursday's battle with the team formerly known as Uncle Bob's proved to be a defensive struggle. All of the scoring was done early in the game. Leroy scored all of their runs in the second inning, while the Tap Outs scored all of their runs in the second and third innings to pull out the win.

Jazzy Jeff didn't have any strikeouts, but coaxed the Leroy's crew to hit the ball right at the Tap Outs' defensive alignment for most of the night. Scotty 2 Hotty pulled off a nice double play at shortstop to end the sixth inning. He caught a liner and then rifled a throw over to Big John Studd at first base to complete the twin killing.

Sadly, the Tap Outs hit into two DPs of their own. Marky Mark hit into one and DOB followed suit later by hitting into another 6-4-3 DP. DOB earned LVP honors with his 0-for-2 performance from the No. 10 spot in the lineup. He choked in his first AB in the second inning, coming up with the bases loaded and popping up to left field. Just awful.

No real offensive highlights to speak of. Kriss Kross had a nice hit to the gap to score a couple of runs and Jazzy legged out a double and skinned his leg in the process to start the fun in the second inning.

Only had 10 Tap Outs in attendance. Hitman missed his second straight game and we haven't seen Donny since the near-riot he caused in Week 2. The Tap Outs are now 3-1 with the win, including a perfect 3-0 mark when DOB graces the team with his presence.

Your Quincy Park District Division V heroes will be back in action next Thursday at Wavering when we take on Grove Inn. Be there or be square.

Game 3 Report — Tap Outs 10, Hooey's 0

After two weeks of rainouts, the Ted's Shirt Shack Tap Outs were back in action at Upper Moorman against a group of young upstarts. The old men had no problem with the youngin's making them submit via the mercy rule.

It was really a solid all-around night for the Tap Outs. We hit up and down the order, got some solid pitching from Jazzy Jeff and played good defense behind him.

Jazzy struck out two batters looking and was unhittable for most of the night. Only one guy was able to hit the ball hard and he was wiped out thanks to the Tap Outs' defense. With some jabronie going for an inside-the-park home run, Scotty 2 Hottie fired a dart to DOB at home. DOB actually caught the ball and easily tagged out the guy at the plate.

That was the defensive play of the night. Nick the Quick also made a nice twisting catch out in right field on a ball that fooled him.

DOB, back for the first time in a month thanks to the rainouts and having to cater to his wife on her birthday, was 3 for 3 with two runs scored.

After the game, Kriss Kross said that "one player can't make a difference for a team" when talking about how former pro player Brandon DeJaynes is actually slumming it in Division 5. I had to point out that the Tap Outs are 2-0 with DOB in the lineup and 0-1 without. The numbers don't lie folks.

We were without several players as Hitman Hart (back), Jared (work) and Donny (exiled by the league? Just kidding).

We'll try to move to 3-1 next week when we play at 6 at Moorman Main. The old Uncle Bob's crew is our opponent. I miss the Merry Beavers.

We got the band back together

After a year in exile, many members of the former Quincy Park District Division V champion H-W Demons have reunited for yet another season of Thursday night dominance.

With little to no practice, the boyz looked like they hadn't missed a beat on Thursday night as the new Ted's Shirt Shack squad took apart a team whose name I can't remember, winning by a 15-4 score. And quite honestly, it didn't matter what their name was.

Ted's (we're looking for a good nickname since the boyz didn't want to be the Demons any more) took apart their tattooed opposition quite easily.

Many familiar faces dotted the lineup — DOB, Kriss Kross, Hitman Hart, Big John Studd, Marky Mark and Nick the Quick. Two other holdovers couldn't make it out for the opener — Jazzy Jeff and Eric B.

We traded one Weamster (Keith) for another (Donny), who shall be known as the new Weamster. We also got to know a couple of Kriss Kross' bowling buddies — Scotty 2 Hotty, Zach Attack and Corey Haim.

There were big hits up and down the lineup. The wind that was the only thing that could keep DOB in the park as he went 2 for 4 with two runs scored. He also showed off his gold glove work behind the plate. The No Names obviously had no scouting report on the Yadi Molina of Division V. After a ball got past Big John Studd at first base, DOB was on the spot backing up the play and easily threw out the runner.

Marky Mark earned Slap of the Game honors. The not-so fleet-footed Marky Mark tried to tag up on a fly ball against the No Names' best arm in the outfield. He was out by a mile. He was later doubled up on a play that took about 45 seconds to finish. I'm pretty sure my 11-year-old can beat him in a foot race.

Ted's crew will be back in action at 7 p.m. next Thursday at Moorman Main. They'll try to go to 2-0 without DOB, who will be trying to earn good husband points from his wife, who turns 21 that night.