Thursday, April 28, 2011

Game 1 Report — Tap Outs 36, Flying Inn 9

Yes, the headline is correct.

In their first game at the Quincy Park District Division IV level, your diamond heros absolutely laid the smack down on the Flying Inn crew in front of a standing-room only crowd at Moorman Main.

The people who packed Moorman certainly got what they paid for. Their choice to skip out on the NFL Draft and resting up for the big royal wedding paid off in spades. The witnessed history as the Tap Outs set a franchise record for runs in a game.

As you can expect, there were a certain amount of nerves for the crew going into the game. First, of all, they were bumped up a division after showing utter dominance in Division V, winning two titles in three seasons. Instead of having a chance to defend their title, the Tap Outs were bumped up. The Quincy Park District tried to keep us down, but we rose to the challenge on our first night in a new league.

We were also a bit short-handed on opening night as just 10 Tap Outs were in the house. Big John Studd and Eric B. were wrapping up their marathon bowling season, leaving them out of the mix.

It didn't matter. With Eric B. out of the mix, team skipper Kriss Kross decided to put DOB at the top of the order. The moved proved to be a prudent one. DOB made like a vintage Vince Coleman in the leadoff spot. He set the table all night, going 4 for 5 with a walk. He scored three runs and drove in three runs all while playing a flawless game at catcher.

With an .800 batting average and an .875 OBP, it's going to be hard for Eric B. to reclaim his spot atop the order.

A couple of newbs also had good games in their Tap Outs debut. We welcomed back Bad Brad from a few seasons back. We added Nick Jr., who isn't related to Nick the Quick, but does give us another Nick on the squad.

Home Run Baker will man shortstop for the departed Hitman Hart and hit cleanup. He didn't go yard, but hit an impressive, towering 15 foot blast while trying to bat left-handed late in the game when the Tap Outs were up 23.

Josh, who will be known as Jay-Z on this blog, made his presence felt. He capped a wild night of offense by clubbing an inside-the-park grand slam, a move that drew the ire of the Flying Inn's catcher.

"That's stupid," the Flying Inn catcher said after tasting Jay-Z's dust, "you're not a good enough player to do that."

Sadly, Jay-Z didn't turn around and say "Scoreboard," to the disgruntled backstop.

We were also without our regular hurler as Jazzy Jeff was too busy coaching up the Highland Cougars. Kriss Kross responded by keeping the Flying Inn bats for most of the night. One cat on the Flying Inn did crush a three-run homer, but that's about all of the damage the Inn-Keepers managed.

The Tap Outs will be back in action next Thursday at 7 p.m. at Wavering. Who are they playing? It doesn't matter who they're playing.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a great post!!!

April 29, 2011 10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Upon his return to the dugout after said walk, DOB attempted to defend his manhood by expounding the virtues and advantages of OBP, using advanced sabermetric calculations and a truly disturbing amount of Billy Beane quotes.

His bluster was met with an indifferent attitude from his team, and one quietly issued, but truly demoralizing "shutup and swing the damn bat Sally, it's slow pitch softball"

May 11, 2011 11:57 AM  

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