Awards time

After another successful season, it's time to hand out year-end awards for The Herald-Whig Demons.

This is a committee of one voting - DOB. Don't like my honorees or want to add your own? Then leave a comment, sucka.

Without further delay, whoop, here it is:

Least Valuable Player: You'd think Ed, but you'd be thinking wrong. LVP for the 2006 Demons has to be King Carl. The guy showed up to one game, limped around, drank some booze and was never heard from again. What a slap.

Play of the Year: Shawny made several great plays in the outfield. The Weamster fielded his pitching position nicely in the upset of the Best Kept Lawn boys. But only one play stood out for the Demons this season, Ed's wedgie in right field.

Let's go back to May 11, shall we?

Play of the night goes to Ed in right field. After getting a shot sent his way in right field in the third inning, Ed's fielding effort will go down in the annals of H-W Demon history.

He fell on his wallet while trying to get the ball and then tried to throw while sitting on the ground without much luck. Ed took the next two batters trying to pull the undies out of his butt. It was the first time any of us had ever seen someone give himself a wedgie on the softball diamond. To make matters worse, Ed popped out to the catcher on his next at-bat, thus pulling off a rare double play of futility. Nice work, Ed.

Demons Rookie of the Year: After trying to hit fastballs for Quincy University's baseball team, Shawny was a fine addition, taking the roster spot vacated by the Charmin-like soft Murph.

Shawny shored up the outfield and gave us a two-hole hitter we can count on. Unlike Ed, who was cut after the finale, Shawny was given a lifetime contract with the Demons.

Outing of the year: Kriss Kross nearly knocked his brother, The Weamster, off the top of the heap here, but I'd have to say a 3-1 win over the league champs (Best Kept Lawns) trumps an 11-0 victory over the league chumps (U.S. Cooler).

The Weamster was in the zone all night against Best Kept. Even he couldn't believe how good he was that night. It vaguely resembled the night that MJ dropped a double nickel (55 points for those hipless readers) against the Knicks in his first return to the Garden after his first retirement.

Easily, it was the best game of the season by the entire team. That one win, which denied Best Kept from a perfect season, made up for the few clunkers we threw out there.

Bonehead Play of the Year: The Weamster wins this one, (broken right) hand down.

Seems the Weamster didn't like how things were going down in a 30-11 makeup loss to Snap-On Tools and decided to pound the ground. He wound up breaking a bone in his right hand in the process. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Word is that the Weamster will have to start the bowling season on the 15-day disabled list. I know his teammates are crushed.

Most Improved Player: It would be hard to bet against me wouldn't it? Compared to my Rookie of the Year campaign last year, I was much better and more at ease on the field. My batting average was only double what it was from 2005, checking in at .645 with 10 RBI.

Did anyone else move up the lineup like I did, going from 10th to 8th to third in the lineup and producing in every spot. I was like Jose Oquendo or Bert Campaneris, able to play any position the Weamster deemed me worthy.

All that and modesty to boot. I darn near was the team's MVP.

Most Valuable Player: As H-W sports editor, I vow never to go co-Players of the Year in our year end awards. There should only be one winner.

This could be like pee wee t-ball where I name everyone on the team the MVP, but I'm not going to do it.

Our team MVP put on a power display early in the season and was a rock at shortstop. He can throw a mean knuckleball, too, but has never been given the chance. When he was missing against Snap-On, the left side of the infield struggled. Hitman Hart gets the nod for his stellar play in the field and at the plate.

Also in the running were Kriss Kross, Eric, Shawny, and, of course, DOB. Yet it was the Hitman who was better than them all.

For those of you who haven't been mentioned, consider this a participation medal. Yes, even you, Ed.

He gone!!!

Like any trophy-winning team, the Herald-Whig Demons must retool if they're to get better the following season.

Immediately after Thursday's season-ending 11-0 win over U.S. Cooler, The Weamster informed Matthew "Ed" Sprague his services were not going to be needed for the 2007 season.

"He's gone," The Weamster said while bouncing his little bundle of joy, Natalie, on his lap while sucking down a Bud Select after the game. "I'm still waiting for my money. If his glove was worth taking, I'd repossess it since he never paid."

Demons insiders weren't shocked by the news that Ed had been cut. Nor do they see it as a major hinderance as the teams repositions itself for a move up the Division V ladder.

"We lost Sprague," Kriss Kross said. "No big loss."

Sprague had talked before the game about moving up to the Division IV ranks next season. Earlier this season he had demanded a trade. He only came out to play in the final two makeup games when he was guaranteed to play every inning.

His final game as a Demon was one to forget. He popped up to the shortstop twice before finally delivering for the first time since June with a two-run single in his final Demons at-bat.

Say what you want about Ed, he gave us some memories. Who will forget when he gave himself a wedgie trying to make a play in right field in a 33-25 victory over Uncle Bob's in early May? Then there was his infamous slide in a 24-4 win over U.S. Cooler later that month that ripped his leg apart.

Sure, we'll miss him moping around the dugout after making yet another out, but we have to get rid of the dead weight. Ed is part of what we must shed in order to attain our ultimate goal - winning the Division V title.

Sprague was unavailable for comment Thursday night. He was practing Madden and watching reruns of "The Family Guy."

Show us the hardware!!!!

For the second straight summer, your heroes from the Herald-Whig Demons have won hardware. Thanks to an 11-0 spanking of the U.S. Cooler Boyz at Wavering on Thursday night, the Demons finished in a tie for second place in the tough-as-nails Quincy Park District Division V softball race with an 8-4 record.

Because of our devastating loss last week to Snap-On Tools, the Snappers had the tiebreaker over your heroes and took home the tainted second place trophy. The Demons, after years without any bling to show for their efforts, now have another third-place trophy to put next to the third place trophy they captured last season. (Is it any coincidence that their new-found success comes as soon as DOB joins the team? I think not.)

And much like the Chicago White Sox did with the World Series trophy after winning it last year, the Demons will be putting their trophy on display for the millions and millions of their fans to enjoy. Check into the SportsWriters Journal on CGEM (Quincy cable channel 18) at 6 p.m. Friday night to see the trophy in all of its glory.

DOB, who earned Most Improved Player honors for the entire Division V, will have the trophy on display and vows not to let Ed touch it.

As expected, the finale was nothing more than a prolonged victory lap for the Demons.

(Time out to make a correction from last week's post. The Cooler Boyz do have a win to their name. They were able to beat Snap-On Tools a few weeks ago. That means they finish with a 1-11 record. Congrats to them. They're the early favorites to win the newly formed Division VI next year, which will include formitable foes from Sunset Home, the Illinois Veterans Home, Good Samaritan and Chaddock. The residents of each of those facilities will be fielding teams.)

Back to Thursday's action. It's obvious that we had the wrong Wiemelt on the mound all season long. Kriss Kross, subbing for his ignorant brother, put on a display. (OK, it was the Cooler boyz, but a shutout in any slowpitch game is impressive.) I believe no Cooler player reached third base against the crafty lefty, who struck out more batters in one game than his brother, The Weamster, did all season.

The Demons nickled and dimed their way to the win, tacking on a few runs each inning to get to the 10-run limit. DOB finished a sparkling season at the plate with yet another 2-for-3 performance. He walked once and drove in a run. He also fouled out for the first time since the opener. He finished the season with a robust .645 average (20 for 31) with 10 RBI.

The defense was solid behind Kriss Kross. The middle of the infield was solid with Nick the Quick and Marky Mark making some solid plays. The outfield was also salty. DOB, playing right field, showed why his glove as been dubbed as the place "where doubles go to die" by making a catch in the only ball the Cooler Boyz dared hit to him.

With at least one roster spot open with Ed's departure (see above post), the Demons will certainly have a different look for the 07 season. Oh, and we have to dump King Carl, too, who dissed us all season. What a chump.

Please check back to hwdemons.blogspot.com against next season for more news about your boys of summer.

OUCH!!!!

Going into the game, the Demons thought facing Snap-On Tools would be a snap. God, were we wrong. Your heroes were rolled, taking their worst beat down of the season to the tune of 30-11.

Playing without Hitman Hart and Shawny among others, the Demons were pasted royally.

Not much good to say about this one at all. DOB was out of position at third base and was pretty much terrible. The Demons gave Snap-On at least four outs every inning thanks to some shoddy defense.

Unlike Snap-On, we couldn't find any holes in the field. Thursday's performance on a beautiful night at Wavering was a huge letdown after last week's perfect performance against the LawnBoys.

Hitting in the No. 2 hole, DOB had another multi-hit game, going 2 for 3. That pushes his average to .643 on the season (18 for 28).

Your heroes have just one game left next Thursday at 7 p.m. at Wavering against the hapless winless U.S. Cooler. If we lose that one, we should all quit.